Can I call you?? ~ In the middle of the night??


Two friends

Two friends (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Been doing lots of thinking about TRUE friendship lately… what with my ‘resolution’ and all – I know it’s just another “time suck” that occupies my brain and keeps me from concentrating on the things that I am supposed to be concentrating on at the time!  Hey, I KNOW my time management skillz totally suck so I might as well show the CRAZY that actually goes on in my mind… 

Does anyone else take some – ?, most – ?, all – ? friendships too much to heart? 

Does anyone else MUDDLE the line between a REAL friend and a casual acquaintance? 

Is this me being crazy? 

Sometimes I think I put more “intensity” on the ‘friendship’ I think I have with people and then end up very disappointed, sad, hurt, resentful when I realize  – too often, too late – that, that “friendship” really wasn’t what I thought it was…. 

Is this sounding like a “sad sap” story yet – LOL – totally not meaning for it too – but really wanting to work on this whole resolution thing to make time for those that are important in my life and having to decide where to draw the line for who is TRULY important in my life… and for all that is good in the world – I HAVE TO STOP CARING ABOUT THOSE THAT DO NOT RETURN THE FAVOR!! 

Who can name every member of their wedding party, tell me exactly where they are and what they are doing right now?  Can you list 10 friends, 5 friends?, ANY friends? –  that you could call, to be the shoulder you need –  in an emergency? – in the middle of the night??  Would any – or all – of them drive across state lines at the ‘drop of a hat’ for you – without you asking – just cuz they would know you needed them?  (What does that expression even mean – “Drop of a Hat”???)  More importantly – are you this person to anyone else? 

Funny – I seriously thought about these questions and came up with a lot longer list of people that I would do anything for, than people I feel will do anything for me… and that seriously has me RE-thinking my friendships!! Additionally I wonder if others feel the same way… do the people I truly feel I would “do anything” for know they can count on me?  Do they know how very much I love them and value their friendship?? 

You know, it’s ironic, myself (and my husband) and many people I grew up with experienced divorced parents… Many of us have learned from this “experience” and have learned that one of the major “rules” of a successful marriage is EFFORT and although that is 100% , a post worthy of it’s own, and a marriage does need to remain the number 1 focus – it’s almost like we have refocused ALL of our energies and really need to concentrate on making the friendship effort too!!  See, I told you it was ironic!!

So –  I challenge you (to do along with me) in the next 2 weeks, the “OLD FRIEND, moment to re-connect and I just gotta tell you I love you and you can me in the middle of the night” challenge… in this day and age of social networking… you have to insist on personal contact, so facebook or email them, send them a text, pick up the telephone or how about this crazy off the cuff idea  – stop by their homes… either way, pick 2 old friends…  Just 2 – ANY 2, and make an effort to get together face to face or at minimum – voice to voice… Schedule a night out…Just a quick drink…How about a coffee at Dunkin’ or Timmy Ho’s or a quick coke at Burger King…  Meet at a store, go to the mall… take a walk – stop at their house with a surprise treat…  Anything to show you are making an effort!  Reconnect – if only for a moment, tell them you LOVE them and experience the feel good moment – twice – you have to do it with 2 friends!

So – are you with me?  Is it just me?  Am I putting too much emphasis on what I expect from friendship? 

Do tell – Let’s Chat!!  No seriously – call me… I NEED 2 friends – like NOW!!!!



About ourREALdeal...

Stepford wife and mother? Not hardly...

Posted on January 10, 2013, in family, Get Organized!. Bookmark the permalink. 17 Comments.

  1. Friends are for a reason, season or lifetime. Don’t get down, pretty, you have & had them all. 🙂

  2. Oh, but only call me in the middle of the night for a REAL emergency. Not to roll your change or take you to the casino or anything.

  3. PRETTY – You were TOP of my list to call (NOT in the middle of the night…although you do seem to be available then a lot more lately – at least via FB – hahaha) So – coffee, cocktails or Pizza land – what will it be????

  4. I’m feeling the same way Michelle. I really am. I know I am the person that my friends can always depend on, favors are not returned, feelings are hurt = drifting occurs.

    Awesome post!! ♥

    • LOL – Thanks for validating me Didi! See this is why I also searched out and found some NEW friends like YOU!! It is super awesome to meet people now that you just instantly LOVE and I am so calling on you as soon as I head to Rocha!!

      • I’m the same way, I’m attempting to meet and connect with others. Life is too short not to be able to laugh and just commiserate if needed. You need a shoulder sometimes, and at least for me… I don’t always want it to be my husband’s. Men think differently than us. They want to fix our problems, we want to vent…

        I’m with ya ove!!

      • on a separate note love… this is like literally my dream pantry. She gives you step by step and free labels too!!

  5. Oh GREAT Didi – now you know how I just spent my last hour – a new BLOg is NOT what I need to become addicted to right now – hahaha – AMAZING pantry – I LOVE it!!!

  6. I miss you my friend and would love to hear from you any time of day or night!!!

    • AWWW Dani – You too – right on the top of my list!!! We all just have so much going on…CRAZY! I so LOVE when I get to run into you BUT I am not accepting that as enough so – do you want to go out? Girl’s night? Wine?? Coffee?? Couple’s dinner?? Tell me what – let’s get it set!!!!!!

  7. Believe it or not we have only lost touch with one person out of the 18 in our wedding party! I do have great friends but I hear ya on crossing the line between friends and casual acquaits.

    • JFB – we still are GREAT friends with everyone from our wedding party but I wanted to “say it so I would do it” and make a point of calling on each of those ‘old’ friends just to make sure they know I (we) truly care!! Sometimes you do have friends that you put too much effort into and learn too late they really aren’t worth your effort… but SOMETIMES, you make new friends that are 100% worth the effort!! LOVE you girl!!!

  8. This post could have been written by me. i am not sure what happens but I have less and less friends as i get older. I try and amke time and now I think It is to far gone to be saved:(

  9. Andrea-try being honest about how you feel…you never know the other person may be feeling the same way!

  10. PS Michelle-did you do week 1 in my Organize Now Challenge? 🙂

  11. Michelle – you let me know what is good for you! I would love to get together wherever or when ever!!!

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