What’s Up Wednesday ~ Has Ritalin replaced the good ‘ole butt-beating??
Got your attention didn’t I? Advice needed…. PLEASE!!
What is up with the fact that the Dr.’s office does not think my child is their number 1 priority? What is up with the mountain high stack of report files I just witnessed in said doctor’s office, all of patients requiring the extended review of the doctor in order to obtain additional school help/aide? Have we as a society come full circle in NOT being able to help our children because we are trying to help too many for not always the right reasons?? Stick with me here… I have many points and as always… this is how I seek “counseling” – I write it up… I read it over and over… I send it out into the great big wide inter-webs on this little ole’ blog and I feel validated if and when someone responds to me… hopefully others have viewpoints that will help in my quest for answers!!
I mean, speaking totally off the cuff and just blabbing my “personal” view point… Before ALL children were main streamed and before “no child is left behind”…and honestly before I had children so I did not pay any attention to the issues of the schools, or the children… I do know it was before the classification of “special needs” became all encompassing… before ADD was diagnosed to such an extreme and meds were prescribed quicker than not, before SpongeBob was introduced as a babysitter, before video games ruled the world… and frankly before parents quit spanking their kids or even punishing them… let alone the school administration… you know when you were scared to death of the principal (and his paddle) not looking to earn a fun lunch date with him – and honestly, this wasn’t all that long ago… things were different!
Let’s get right to the personal nitty- gritty shall we? Deep and personal… you know how I roll… I have a baby and he is STRUGGLING with school and probably struggling with more than I care to admit but I am at a point where I must seek any and all help – to help him…cuz that is the Mama’s MAIN job!
Last year I struggled with sending my baby to kindergarten… after all he was only four and he was a preemie (after 72 days on bed rest IN THE HOSPITAL – have I mentioned that?? AND seriously – he LOVES his Daddy “just a little more” – LOL) and he is my “baby” and I have a slight complex because I have worked since he was very little and have not been a stay at home Mom with him so….aghhhh…. anyhow, unbeknownst to me… he could not attend the schools pre-k program because he would actually be turning 5 – and therefore of kindergarten age – just after school started… and he was excited to go – there is not a drop off separation anxiety with any of my kids and I choose to believe that is because I am raising them so well, thank you very much (Did I ever mention how my middle child, the girl, at 2.5 was hiding from me at Walmart and I finally heard this little voice asking a complete stranger, “Can I go home with you??” AGHHHHH – Believe me, we discuss “Stranger Danger” nightly at our house!!)
Okay anyhow, I knew my baby wasn’t ready for kindergarten but having no other option at the time (working Mother, can’t drive her last baby to any other program – again, aghhhhhhhh) I sent him figuring it would be good experience and if need be I could just have him repeat kindergarten… I struggled and struggled with this thought as I did not want to set my child up to fail – even at 5 years old…. Heed my advice now… listen to your gut… I should have NEVER sent him…. That is a daily struggle of my own and a cross I need to bear – But alas I did send him and we are now repeating kindergarten this year and he is struggling… still… and it is the second time around… and he is still less mature than many of his classmates (although much more mature and better behaved than some – which is quite scary in it’s own)… and although I am not 100% convinced, I am leaning towards the accepting of the fact, that something more may be wrong… He is not just “a boy being a boy”… some of his behaviors are not exactly the norm… An outsider looking in may just think he is an ACTIVE child but he definitely cannot sit still, he definitely has some co-ordination issues (and NO they are not just the “lack of Grace” as passed on by his Mother), some days he masters all his numbers, letters and site words and impresses us beyond belief by spouting off some math fact or story that is well beyond his level of learning and then some days he acts (and it is NOT “just an act”) like he has never seen or heard numbers, letters or site words before – and he truly can become very distraught over the NOT knowing and understanding. Some days he strives to do really well and other days he is in the principal’s office by 10 am… school starts at 9 mind you…
So, we (us and the school) are seeking answers… How can I help my child? The current system as I understand it… the school needs to declare an “issue” (NOT what I want – at all – but I NEED the extra help) and psychologically review (OMG – have you ever seen these forms and the format they use for testing) my child and then send all to the child’s doctor who will in turn recommend a course of action – all of this proper documentation will “allow” the school to continue to provide any needed extra support like speech, occupational therapy etc. OVERALL I am thrilled with this plan (what are my options?? Homeschooling?? Have you met me??? Others excel at it…me = NO!!!) So, we are going to work together, we are going to investigate and try courses of action and plans that will work for my baby… we are going to make sure he gets the best possible education and aide him in any way that we can… we are going to ensure he succeeds – if there is a shortfall somewhere, anywhere, we will overcome and adapt… all we have to do is get the damn forms from/through the doctor who has WAIT FOR IT… 97,000 OTHER cases to review – in his SPARE time – before he will even see my child for further review…. WHAT???????
So – how did we, as a society evolve so far around the “special needs” children that we have all-encompassed far too many other children and created a further hindrance to actually helping those IN-need…not necessarily “special” needs… Is “mainstreaming” truly the answer for all children? Is the act of labeling children so hindered by the “restrictions” of the label that we can’t provide the needed service or benefit to help the child.
How many of those children REALLY need additional help? If they all truly do then we – as a whole – have a much bigger issue here… Dare I guess how many of those kids simply need a good old fashioned spanking? A little discipline goes along way…parents need to lead by example and I am just saying here…maybe some of their examples SUCK… Sometimes policies and regulations just SUCK!!
What say you…. I would LOVE any and all input – I am desperate for reassurance, examples, anything!!